I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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