Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
