okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
