and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
