O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize