The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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