her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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