I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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