I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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