I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
