I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
