The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
