oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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