His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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