I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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