And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
