I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize