I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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