Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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