just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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