are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
