Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
where does the pee come out of this thing
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
