I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
