you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize