i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize