Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
