so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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