How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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