even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
