i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
