I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
