he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
