You're a womanizer and a bitch.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
