sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
