He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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