Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
