Already got asked if we're dating
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
