we're blogging at a bar
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am available for nakedness
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
