I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
