I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
