someone get that fucking seahorse.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
