yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Its about making memories worth repressing
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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