so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Randomize
