Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
