so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Drake has all the answers
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
