Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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