Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
