I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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