Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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