remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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