i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
