i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
