Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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