I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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