I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
