Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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