wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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