I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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