THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
