Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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