If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
