Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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