Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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