She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You can't just leave with hair like that
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
