I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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