I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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