i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
