Small penises have feelings too.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
