just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
