There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize