cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
