Ambien. No doubt about it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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