UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They are going to name an STD after you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
