billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
