I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Plan B is the new Plan A
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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