This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
